THE TRUE LIVES OF THE FABULOUS AVENGERS
by I-Am-a-MoOsE
Summary: The Killjoys get recruited for The Avengers to take down BLI, who are threatening New York. Simple, right? Ships: Bruce/Tony; Steve/Coke
1. There came a day unl -KEEP RUNNING

Director Fury recruits the Killjoys for the Avengers.

'Why would you want us?' Gerard replied to the seven foot tall man infront of him. He wasn't fazed, though.

'SHEILD'S been tracking your work. Your fight against BLI. You're all incredibly talented fighters – you could give some of our best fighters a run for their money.'

Frank snorted, fiddling with his motor-bike helmet with GOOD LUCK scrawled across the front in red paint. Fury raised his eyebrows.

'We can give you proper armor and weapons,' Fury tried again.

Mikey shrugged. 'We're still alive aren't we? These have treated us fine.'

In response to that, Ray picked up one of the guns and aimed a shot beside Fury's head. Fury, despite his training, jumped.

Ray just smiled, placing his gun down. 'You can leave now.'

It was Fury's turn to smile. 'I didn't want to do this, but you've left me no choice.'

Fury's hand slipped into his pocket and the Killjoys felt themselves fall.

'You okay?' A curly haired man said, leaning over Frank as he regained consciousness. Once the Killjoy realized where he was, he lunged at the man.

'Hey!' A harsh, American voice snapped. 'Don't make him angry.'

The man, who wore a black t-shirt and had his hair – product free – sitting messily on his head. He had his stubble shaved neatly and it was obviously an expensive cut.

Frank let the doctor go, mumbling an apology.

The doctor, whose name tag read Dr. Banner, stumbled over to the other mans side.

'What -'

Before the New Jersey boy could finish his sentence, he was cut off.

'SHIELD. They drugged you an took you here. Here being the hellicarrier. I'm Tony Stark, and the man beside me, the one you tried to kill -'

'He didn't try to kill me, Tony,' Banner mumbled.

'Is my boyfriend, Bruce Banner. Your friends are fine, they've already had the situation explained to them.'

'Would you like to meet everyone else?' Bruce asked.

Frank, desperate to leave this room and the couples company, nodded.

'Mikey, Gerard, Frank and Ray; this is Thor, the god; Natasha, Spy; Clint, marksman; Steve, soldier; and Bruce, The Hulk; and me, Tony Stark – I'm kinda a big deal.'

'We know,' Mikey snapped. 'Battery City isn't completely oblivious to the rest of the worlds news.'

'Hulk?' Ray asked.

Bruce blushed. 'It's complex.'

'So, Shiver'me'timbers, what the fuck is this all about?' Gerard said to Fury.

Fury ignored the name – he'd heard them all before. 'BLI has come to New York. We assumed that we could take some weirdos in masks – but these guys ...'

'I understand. You didn't consider that maybe the villain had brains – so you wanted some smart guys to do it four you,' Mikey mocked.

'Hey!' the doctor cried.

'I have four degrees and I created my own element!' Tony countered.

'Got nothing to do with brains, "smart guy",' Fury responded. 'They have weapons we've never seen before. They're slaughtering our men.'

'Basically,' The red haired woman, known as Natasha, said, 'nobody knows them like you guys do. You are the "Fabulous Killjoys", are you not?'

'You want us to fight with the Avengers?' Gerard checked.

'You start training now.'


	2. Killjoys Assemble

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Ray's blaster fired at the target, hitting true every time.

Clint was impressed. 'Surprised you can see through all that hair.'

Ray laughed, blowing a strand out of his eyes. 'I get that a lot.'

'Ever considered cutting it?'

Gerard, who was standing beside his afro-tastic friend, snorted. 'Now that is something you don't want to see.'

'That bad?' Clint said.

Ray gave his friend a look that read God-dammit-do-not-show-him-the-picture.

Gerard gave him a look that read Watch-me.

Bruce and Nat, who were walking past the training room stopped at the sound of yelling and gun-fire.

'I TOLD YOU NOT TO SHOW HIM THE PICTURE!' came Ray's voice.

'C'mon! You look sexy as hell!'

More gun-shots.

'Let's go,' Bruce said, scampering down the hall, Nat giggling beside him.

Back in the training room, Clint had separated the two fighters by firing an explosive arrow in between them.

'How do you guys expect to work in a team and take down BLI if you can't even look past a terrible photo,' Clint cried. 'No offense, Ray, but you look like an onion.'

He quickly drew back an arrow before Ray could lunge at him.

'I know you've been living rough and living paranoid for a while – but god dammit, trust each other and work with each other. You're the fudging Killjoys; you guys are the real-thing.'

He looked between the two.

'Go to your rooms and get cleaned up.' They hesitated. 'NOW!'

'I didn't know you knew anything about guns,' Tony said to Bruce as his partner busied himself with a screwdriver.'

'I used to make bombs, Tony. It's how I became the Hulk,' Bruce reminded him.

'Sodon't fancy any of them, Tony,' Bruce laughed, pecking Tony on the cheek. Tony snorted, but Bruce could see it in his eyes that he was relived.

'So,' Tony whispered, 'wanna go do something fun?'

Bruce rolled his eyes and kissed Tony on the lips. 'I can't – I have to examine this weapon. It's BLI.'

'C'mon, Bruce. Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce,' Tony moaned.

The door slid open and Steve walked in.

'Deja'vu!' Tony cried, grabbing his head. 'Uh, I hate deja'vu.'

'You okay, Steve?' Bruce asked, ignoring Tony's moans for attention.

'Just checking up on you,' he explained. 'So, what's been happening.'

Tony straightened up. 'Steve, stop trying to seduce Bruce – for whense thee came, Rogers.'

Bruce laughed awkwardly.

Steve rolled his eyes. 'You think I seduce everyone. You thought that I was, to quote, "Jizzing for the Fizzing" yesterday over a can of coke.'

'I just think you're sexually frustrated, that's all,' Tony countered casually.

'I'm not -'

'90-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, COMING THROUGH, GUYS!' Tony yelled as Gerard ambled into the room, he quickly turned on his heels and left, though.

'OI! POSION!' Tony called after Gerard (Party Poison). Gerard appeared at the door again.

'If I come in, will you stop talking about sex? I could hear you all the way down the corridor. Bruce, I suggest you do what he wants; he's not going to stop pestering you.'

Tony gave Bruce The Look. He turned to Gerard. 'Well, we were going to offer you join us in a gang-bang, but that seems out of the question.'

'Tony!' Bruce snapped.

'That's gross,' Steve complained.

'Joking!' Tony cried, palms outstretched. 'God, you guys are such Seniors – no offense, Cap.'

'You got anything on the gun yet?' Gerard asked Bruce.

'Working on it. It' odd, I've seen these readings before. They're kinda like -' Bruce's face fell. 'Oh gosh.'

'What is it, Bruce?' Steve said.

'These are identical to the Gamma Readings from Loki's sceptor.'

'Loki?'

'Norse-god, Power crazy, insanely attractive,' Tony listed quickly. 'Are you sure?' He asked his boyfriend.

'Positive. It explains why BLI are near impossible to take down.'

'So ...?'

'Loki's back.'

'I thought you'd say that ...'

'Impossible!' Thor boomed. 'My brother is on Asgard, in prison. You are lying!'

'Sorry, Thor,' Steve said. 'He's working with BLI.'

'This is a funny coincidence,' Mikey chuckled.

The Avengers glared at him.

'If what you say is true, then we have to do something. But this is beyond SHEILD now,' Fury stated.

'We're not members of SHIELD, though,' Thor stated. 'I can take my brother on again if required.'

'We've fought against BLI at its worse,' Ray said. 'We could easily handle them now.'

'I don't think you understand the situation, Ray,' Steve said. 'Loki is insanely powerful, and near invincible. We called you in to take down BLI, but that isn't the case now I suggest we send you home.'

'No offense, Cap,' Nat piped up, 'But that isn't your call to make.'

'It's not even ours,' said Fury. He looked towards the four men. 'It's yours.'

The Killjoys looked among each other, then sighed.


	3. Save yourself, I'll hold them back

.'We're in,' Gerard said. 'But we're no where near ready.'

Fury nodded. 'Banner, Stark; I need you to find Loki. You've done it before, lets just hope it wasn't just luck.'

The two geniuses nodded and darted off to their labs.

'Thor, return to Asgard, I need everything on Loki – security footage, etc,' Fury said to the god. Thor nodded, swung his hammer, and tore through the ceiling.

'There's a door, literally next to you,' Fury muttered, before turning to Steve, Clint and Nat. 'Get these guys equipped and trained – NOW!'

'I can't jump that,' Gerard complained, looking at the six foot gap in front of him. On the other side, stood his goal – A white gun, with KILLJOYS scrawled across it in his messy drawl.

'Do it, just try to ignore the spikes below you,' Nat said coldly.

'You'se are fucking mad,' Gerard muttered, taking a step back and leaping across the gap. He barely made it, wobbling uneasily on the edge as he landed. He picked up the gun and fired four shots at the plastic dummies that were swooping across the ceiling at 80mph.

He hit every single one.

Steve tried to hide his surprise.

Gerard flew off the ledge, rolled, then stood up in-front of the Soldier. 'That was fun.'

Steve smirked. 'Try saying that when they're shooting back.'

'I'll make a note of that,' Gerard countered, placing the gun back on the pedestal for the rest of his teammates to get.

'Good work soldier,' Steve said, gesturing for the next Killjoy to jump.

Gerard raised his eyebrows. 'We are not soldiers. And we don't work for you or SHEILD.'

'I understand.'

'I don't think you do, though.'

'How's that?'

'We're not your fucking puppets, Rogers.'

Steve stepped back. 'You agreed to this, Gerard.'

Gerard's brow furrowed. 'What?'

'Four hours ago, in the meeting hall – _you _agreed to this.'

'No, I never. You didn't give us a choice. This was forced.'

'Something isn't right,' Bruce Banner said, typing stuff up onto his computer. Tony looked at him through a clear monitor.

'What isn't?'

'The readings – Loki's sceptor – they've mixed with something else,' Bruce explained.

'Tampered?'

'No,' he said, shaking his head. 'Take a look.'

Tony walked over, scanned through his boyfriends notes and examining the results on the screen.

'I don't understand,' Tony muttered. He muttered it because he'd never said that before.

'I do,' Steve Rogers said, appearing at the door.

'Steve? Shouldn't you be training Gerard?'

'I should be. But that isn't Gerard.'

Bruce and Tony shared a look. 'I'm sorry, what?' They said in unison.

'You remember one of our missions, couple years back – Though, I don't remember it because I was being held in a Skrull prison.'

'No ...' Bruce gasped.

'They're back. And they've infiltrated the Killjoys. Which means -'

'They've gotten into the Avengers,' Tony whispered.

'Exactly,' Steve said. 'Question is – who is it?'

The air tensed as gazes fell across each of the men.


End file.
